Unwavering Faith

I told another close friend There was another close friend to me that I had yet to disclose my new decision to. I rang her, and after some small talk about how we had been, I told her the news: my wife and I had decided to step away from the church and I wanted you to hear it from me first. She responded as she typically does, "Yeah I figured it was something like that." She then dropped a one-liner that stuck with me:  "That's what happens when you stop going to church." I had to brush that line aside even though it hurt to hear my decision reduced to a single action. Why would such a line hurt ? When I was a TBM (true believing Mormon), I would hear about the importance of going to church every Sunday, and the importance of living the gospel everyday. Various analogies would be told to help members understand why it is important to stay. "It's like using your arm; if you bend it and lift with it, and use it, it will stay strong. But when I put it in a...

The classic phrase uttered by almost everyone at some point in their Mormon journey, and one of the most subjective concepts taught, yet relied upon as one of the best tools to navigate truth. On this day, I listened to a Mormon Stories episode 1563 where a girl named Faith Erickson spoke out about redefining sexuality and body autonomy. The episode runs for 2 and a half hours, and so I will only speak to the notes I took at the time, but the whole episode is worth a listen. From the episode, there were two main points that struck me as being very real when you belong to the church; the doctrine of your own voice and the voice of the Spirit is very confusing, and your sexuality is something the church tries to own. Is it the Spirit, or just me? From the age of Primary, I was taught that the still small voice  was how god spoke to us, unless you were a prophet, which meant he actually spoke to you. Like Moses and the burning bush, or Smith and the First vision. This voice was called...

Listening to the Mormon Stories podcast became a regular activity I pursued during my work hours. I spent much of this time hearing the perspectives of others and reflected on my own journey quite deeply. One such guest came onto the podcast who went by the pseudonym  Mike  from a website called LDS Discussions where an extensive website pieced together a systematic timeline of historical events of the early days of the church. The website is a great resource to refer back to after listening to the actual podcasts, at least for me it was. A list of the episodes can be found here . The seer stone the church believes Smith used. The series first starts with information regarding Joseph and activities that he got up to, including something I never knew about him: treasure digging as a legit way to earn money . Yes. The prophet who was to usher in the gospel and the true church dug for treasure using a variety of folk magic techniques, including the use of a seer stone which he f...

I l istened to another exit story found here , and this was about a guy who left the church and redefined his Christian views which aligned more like those of the Baptists.  While listening, there were a few things he mentioned that resonated with me at this time: Mormons teach that grace is sufficient before, during, and after all we can do (talk by Brad Wilcox). However, the Bible teaches grace is sufficient when we accept Christ without any further actions on our part. He called this the Impossible Gospel concept, that through Mormonism, you need to be constantly moving or doing something to qualify for this grace whereas in mainstream Christianity, it is available to you at the mere mention of Jesus' name.   “ No success can compensate for failure in the home .” A classic Mormon quote that hurt this man when his marriage broke down as he navigated his conversion.  Whilst the spirit in which this quote is given highlights the family’s importance, the secondary and impl...

The Stories of Others As I undertook my own faith transition, I began listening to the stories of others and how they felt during the process. I found this helped me because all I wanted to do was talk to people about the experience I was going through, but I didn’t know who to turn to. I didn’t want to stir up problems with believing members, and I didn’t want to explain the nuance to people who hadn’t been in the church.  This video here was  about a bishop who  didn’t consider himself to be a spiritual person, who  read the gospel topic essays , and found them to be deeply troubling. This was one of the first times I heard about these essays , which are written by anonymous authors and published on the church website in a not-so-obvious  place. I heard someone mention that it’s the church’s liability protection for when people say, “Hey, the church never taught that.” The topics range from the wives of Joseph Smith, the translation process of the Book o...

I knew that making the decision to move myself way from church was probably going to mean I would have discussions with certain people, and that I would have to answer the question “why are are leaving the church?” I had a dinner organised with a close friend that night and had a feeling that this topic would come up at some point. And so, I began reflecting on what the exact reason was so that I could in a simplified way relate that to them. At this stage, I did not have a summed up response. I then got a phone call from an old coworker where this question was asked. I ended up using this conversation as a test run  for how the coming dinner might go. I even said this to him, to which he laughed. Our conversation was extremely civil and was largely centred around the guilt and shame cycle that I experienced particularly as a youth around masturbation, which again, I believe is a normal thing and something that is the business of a young person. Something surprised me in his respon...

Leaving Mormonism means also Leaving God During the month of May, I can see several instances where I started to shift in my thinking and perception on topics and viewpoints. For example,  I listened to episode 1544 of Mormon Stories that talked about the leaked talk that Brad Wilcox gave at the Alpine Stake in Utah. The commentary offered made some points that I resonated with, one of which being that the doctrine of Jesus and God from the Mormon view creates a version of Jesus and God that cannot be easily transferred to another branch of Christianity. I would say that because of the way to church teaches its members that it is the only true church with the most correct doctrine, and if someone decides to leave the church, at least for me, it ruins the concept of God and Jesus. I believe this is true for me because when I was taught about the God and Jesus and their nature and place in the grand Plan of Salvation; it was literal. In a corner of the universe, these beings existed ...