Unwavering Faith

At my work, I am able to consume audio content in large amounts and so I began listening to the debates and discussions that took place on the YouTube channel Jubilee, a show called Middle Ground.  Basically, a group got together that comprised of 6 individuals, 3 for the topic and 3 against it. They discussed every topic under the sun, from politics or religion to pro-life and pro-sex work. I found the conversations insightful, and it continued to prompt thoughts in my mind as to what truth was.  Much of what I was taught as truth I learned was really an interpretation of a perception of reality. In short, the truths I was taught were merely opinions. Like should a woman have an abortion. The church says no unless the circumstances are extreme. But why can’t the woman decide that for herself? Should men masturbate? The church says no unless you have a leader that thinks it is ok (Leadership Roulette is a real thing). But why can’t that be something a person decides to do? Is ...

I had many good friends growing up, both in New Zealand and in Australia. Some in the church, and some outside the church. One such friend, we would spend time mucking around on games, making movies, and hanging out at church.  As the years went on, we lost touch, reconnected, lost touch again and reconnected again. It was a friendship I enjoyed but sensed might have been changing. The last contact I had with him however left me with some unsure feelings. I remember we talked about his trip, and I noticed he had fresh tattoos. Now, in the church, the leaders made it clear that getting a tattoo was not encouraged and that our body should not be “defaced.” This was the strong language used during my upbringing; that the body was a temple, and would you graffiti the temple walls? It was brought to my attention that I was looking but not looking at his tattoos and I felt bad.  Years and years later, I lost contact with him and felt guilty that that was our last contact. I then saw...

Since the setting in of COVID-19 in April 2020, the church closed its doors to its members and encouraged everyone to have "church in their homes" and gave permission for the sacrament to be performed by "worthy" priesthood holders. The  Come, Follow Me  program was introduced as a way to teach the gospel in the home, and for members to have a schedule to study from. When the church started meeting again, it became a study tool for members to use in preparation for attending Sunday school.  My wife and I struggled to get this going in our household. We already did not do family home evenings on Monday nights as the church instructed. We still said prayers over most meals, and I was continuing to say my personal prayers at night. But we turned out Sabbath Sunday into a family day and used it to spend time doing activities we felt brought us closer together. At this stage, our son was one and our daughter was not born yet. In the times that we did try to attend church...

Like all stories in movies and books, characters always have a 'normal life' before their call to adventure, or some event takes place before they upheave their lives in new, exciting, and often terrifying ways. I thought it might be beneficial to provide some context and history before my faith transition occurred. I was born and raised in the church, like Nephi "of goodly parents." My mother went to church when she was younger, and my father converted while courting my mother. I attended the sealing of my parents while in the womb and was born and blessed like most LDS babies raised in the church. I attended my meetings faithfully, participated anxiously in all activities, and completed my religious studies during Sunday school, priesthood classes, and early morning seminary. I made efforts to pass, prepare and bless the sacrament when I could. I collected fast-offering donations in blue envelopes once a month and paid my tithing on any money I got (including birthd...

It’s something I never thought would happen, and yet here I am. My whole life was framed to make sure there was no possibility for my faith to unravel or be questioned, and yet it is in transition.  This is a detailed online journal about my faith journey from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or Mormonism, to another path. It’s the blog I hope gives my posterity and others insight into why I am making the decisions I am making regarding my spiritual journey. It may lead to atheist ideology. It may lead to a reformed view of Christianity. Or anywhere in between and around.  My ultimate goal is to find authenticity and empowerment in my life, and those in it. To see the world as it is before me. For my posterity’s sake. For my sake.