Skip to main content

May 2021 - My dear friend

I had many good friends growing up, both in New Zealand and in Australia. Some in the church, and some outside the church. One such friend, we would spend time mucking around on games, making movies, and hanging out at church. 

As the years went on, we lost touch, reconnected, lost touch again and reconnected again. It was a friendship I enjoyed but sensed might have been changing. The last contact I had with him however left me with some unsure feelings. I remember we talked about his trip, and I noticed he had fresh tattoos. Now, in the church, the leaders made it clear that getting a tattoo was not encouraged and that our body should not be “defaced.” This was the strong language used during my upbringing; that the body was a temple, and would you graffiti the temple walls? It was brought to my attention that I was looking but not looking at his tattoos and I felt bad. 

Years and years later, I lost contact with him and felt guilty that that was our last contact. I then saw him surface on social media through a birthday post. He was pictured with another guy, and the way the photos was taken and the post written suggested they were a couple. I ask my other friend and she said, “Yeah, he’s been out for several years.” 

I was lost for words. I then raced right back to the last contact we had and felt a great and heavy sense of guilt. I immediately was lost in the thought of how I could’ve treated him better. I thought, “So, he has been living with this and our last contact was that I was judging him for his tattoos.” 

Several months later, I told my mum about this experience, and she quickly sent me a video of David Archuletta talking to the camera about his experiences when he came out. This was the moment I began to allow the thought to enter my mind…

What if the church isn’t true? 

David talked about the culture of the church, informed by doctrine that was so damaging that he felt like an outcast. A copy of the video can be found here. One of the most prominent things I learned was that David just wanted an emotional relationship with someone, and it felt unnatural to do that with a woman. It wasn’t out of lust or just to have sex. It was to connect on a deep and emotional level, and I understood then that he is just like me. I want to have a continued emotional connection with my wife. Why can’t he have that?

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that the dates have become a blur despite my efforts to record as accurately as I can (and I say this because the video came out in January of 2022). But I definitely remember connecting these two events together. I felt like I have more fully understood the struggle that David went through, and then thought of my dear friend and how it must’ve felt for him. I try not to speak on behalf of a community I do not belong to, and so I won’t. All I will say is that they have an ally in me. I believe the church cannot fully embrace the gay community because of its own doctrine. They will always rank below heterosexuals in their progress and their status because of the church’s own doctrine. 

I believe that everyone should be allowed to express their love in the most natural way for them. Who are we, who and I to get in the way of that? If roles were reversed, I would not want to have my personal freedom to choose whom I love dictated to me. 









Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

13th July 2022 - The loss of two great doctrinal pillars

I continued to listen to a variety of content that ranges anyway from more Mormon Stories episodes to a satire podcast called “The Podcast on the Left” and a range of comedy skits that I would have been ashamed to have admitted to listening to. But all of them contained observable and tangible points of view that continued to shape my new views.  I then had this thought; another mental progression checkin: I’ve now come to terms that the church is an organisation that strives to give meaning, purpose and direction for its members.  But I do not believe that the leaders are inspired of God, and I no longer believe the church to be gods restored church on the earth.  It’s but another church with a mission for the world. I feel a shift deep within me that has widened my view of the world. It is much larger!   This new milestone in my views is huge, and I'll tell you why. As I have mentioned before, those that are brought up in the church are taught from a young age cert...
Post a Comment
Read more

June - December 2021- The Jubilee Videos

At my work, I am able to consume audio content in large amounts and so I began listening to the debates and discussions that took place on the YouTube channel Jubilee, a show called Middle Ground.  Basically, a group got together that comprised of 6 individuals, 3 for the topic and 3 against it. They discussed every topic under the sun, from politics or religion to pro-life and pro-sex work. I found the conversations insightful, and it continued to prompt thoughts in my mind as to what truth was.  Much of what I was taught as truth I learned was really an interpretation of a perception of reality. In short, the truths I was taught were merely opinions. Like should a woman have an abortion. The church says no unless the circumstances are extreme. But why can’t the woman decide that for herself? Should men masturbate? The church says no unless you have a leader that thinks it is ok (Leadership Roulette is a real thing). But why can’t that be something a person decides to do? Is ...
Post a Comment
Read more

For context; my unwavering faith

Like all stories in movies and books, characters always have a 'normal life' before their call to adventure, or some event takes place before they upheave their lives in new, exciting, and often terrifying ways. I thought it might be beneficial to provide some context and history before my faith transition occurred. I was born and raised in the church, like Nephi "of goodly parents." My mother went to church when she was younger, and my father converted while courting my mother. I attended the sealing of my parents while in the womb and was born and blessed like most LDS babies raised in the church. I attended my meetings faithfully, participated anxiously in all activities, and completed my religious studies during Sunday school, priesthood classes, and early morning seminary. I made efforts to pass, prepare and bless the sacrament when I could. I collected fast-offering donations in blue envelopes once a month and paid my tithing on any money I got (including birthd...
Post a Comment
Read more