Remember how I spoke of a friend with whom I discovered came out as gay all those years agai? Well, through this journey, I reflected on that relationship and often wondered how I could’ve been better if I had the opportunity again.
It was on this day that I got that opportunity to finally catch up over a game chat at first, which then progressed to a phone call; and it was an amazing conversation! I found out that our friendship kinda fell off because not necessarily because of my actions, but that he limited his interactions with all TBMs as he navigated his new life choices (TMB meaning True Believing Mormons). He felt as though he received too much judgement from them. Still, I felt the need to apologise for not being a better friend and shared with him my story about my leaving the church, and how it stemmed from discovering his new lifestyle, and reflection upon how poorly the church treats those of the LGBT community. As you will hear in a moment, the church’s doctrine is clear regarding gay people, describing them as people who are experiencing “same-sex attraction” and often describe it as a problem or a trial to be overcome.
He was both surprised and excited to dialogue with someone who understood the grip the church has on its members. We spoke about experiences surrounding alcohol and how normal it really is (did you know you don’t become a servant of the devil?). We discussed his partner and their new lifestyle together, our beliefs towards god (mine being agnostic atheist and his still in god) and how liberating it feels to be out of the church. I keep saying how big the world feels, and it’s true! In the church, the whole human experience is framed with edges and where to go and not to go, with the forbidden areas being shaded with sin and guilt. But as I venture to where I was told not to go, I have discovered that it’s not the forbidden but rather to unknown I am venturing, and that is exciting. I feel like I am getting a second shot at being a young person again; to try new things, and form new options and thoughts on a variety of things.
A video then appeared on my radar that talks about the way one of the prophets described the problem gay people have.
Second Anointing
Also today, I listened to the multi part series of Tom Phillips on Mormon Stories about his second anointing and then loss of faith. Now, I had never heard about a second shooting, but it did not surprise me to learn about what it was, who gets it, and what it entails. Have a listen to the episode to learn more. He lost his whole family including his wife. No one would answer him, but only ignore, deflect or attempt to stamp out the questions, including Elder Holland, a man I once revered as being full of strong words to cut through the crap and tell it how it is, only to now see him as a man who gets carried away with emotion from time to time. Tom made a few interesting points, such as how many points of doctrine change with the time; and ho he experienced many of his family members just not wanting to dialogue because they didn’t want to be “polluted by his views.”
I remember being taught that the reason why members limit their access to ex-members can often be the same reason we remove clean fruit from rotten fruit. If left there, the clean fruit will become rotten like the others. A terribly, simplified analogy in an attempt to describe a situation that could be better handled with understanding, space and an honest earnest desire to learn from each other with out proving right and wrong, but to hear out differences.
Of course, I find only a few process the ability to muster such a conversation with true intent. The rest engage with an “us and them” complex lurking in the back of their minds.
Comments
Post a Comment