13th July 2022 - The loss of two great doctrinal pillars

I continued to listen to a variety of content that ranges anyway from more Mormon Stories episodes to a satire podcast called “The Podcast on the Left” and a range of comedy skits that I would have been ashamed to have admitted to listening to. But all of them contained observable and tangible points of view that continued to shape my new views. 

I then had this thought; another mental progression checkin:

I’ve now come to terms that the church is an organisation that strives to give meaning, purpose and direction for its members. But I do not believe that the leaders are inspired of God, and I no longer believe the church to be gods restored church on the earth. It’s but another church with a mission for the world. I feel a shift deep within me that has widened my view of the world. It is much larger! 

This new milestone in my views is huge, and I'll tell you why. As I have mentioned before, those that are brought up in the church are taught from a young age certain doctrinal pillars. One of them is to Follow the Prophet, he knows the way. Another pillar is that the church was restored back on the Earth, which means it is God's one true church. To have both of these pillars knocked out is to fracture the very foundation of a Mormon's faith. Sure, some say that the foundation is faith in Jesus Christ. But if you also do not couple that belief with the belief that the church is God's true church restored and that prophets lead the church, then you would be considered to not have a fully-fledged testimony. In fact, you would not pass the temple recommend interview. Yes, one of the questions to determine if you are a worthy member in good standing is to hold the belief that the church is God's true church restored through Joseph Smith, and that it is led by living prophets today.

Here are all the questions currently asked in the temple recommend interview as found on the church's own website, note that questions 3 and 4 highlighted are the doctrinal pillars that have been knocked out:

1. Do you have faith in and a testimony of God, the Eternal Father; His Son, Jesus Christ; and the Holy Ghost?
2. Do you have a testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and of His role as your Savior and Redeemer?
3. Do you have a testimony of the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ?
4. Do you sustain the president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the prophet, seer, and revelator and as the only person on the earth authorized to exercise all priesthood keys? Do you sustain the members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators? Do you sustain the other General Authorities and local leaders of the Church?
5. The Lord has said that all things are to be “done in cleanliness” before Him (Doctrine and Covenants 42:41). Do you strive for moral cleanliness in your thoughts and behavior? Do you obey the law of chastity?
6. Do you follow the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ in your private and public behavior with members of your family and others?
7. Do you support or promote any teachings, practices, or doctrine contrary to those of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?
8. Do you strive to keep the Sabbath day holy, both at home and at church; attend your meetings; prepare for and worthily partake of the sacrament; and live your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel?
9. Do you strive to be honest in all that you do?
10. Are you a full-tithe payer?
11. Do you understand and obey the Word of Wisdom?
12. Do you have any financial or other obligations to a former spouse or to children? If yes, are you current in meeting those obligations?
13. Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple, including wearing the temple garment as instructed in the endowment?
14. Are there serious sins in your life that need to be resolved with priesthood authorities as part of your repentance?
15. Do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord’s house and participate in temple ordinances?

The orange-highlighted questions are ones that at the time I no longer upheld. 

This was when I appreciated a scene from the new Thor movie where Gorr meets the god he’s been worshipping his whole life. He had lost everything to be faithful, including the life of his daughter. He finally found heaven, and when he sought the eternal reward that he believed in so deeply, his god laughed at him and said there was no reward for him, but that his only purpose was to suffer in his name. He threw fruit at him and abused him. Gorr, filled with rage turned and killed that god, swearing a vow that all gods must die. I certainly understood his feelings of betrayal. When he had sacrificed so much only to find out it’s all a game, a sham, a false promise. To put the church first in every instance of your life takes its toll, and can often leave you in a mental stage of thinking about the what if's.